“why cant I get a girlfriend” why can’t your girlfriend get you
- Bill Wurtz, 2018-07-29
Well, for starters, the incel never goes out.
Why not?
Because being constantly in the public eye is more trouble than it’s worth.
What trouble is he referring to?
The incel has indeed sacrificed his precious time and put himself in uncomfortable situations before, and what did he get? The ratio is about 20 or so superficial friends he had the “privilege” of being nerds and wasting money with and has completely lost touch with, for every one or two actual friends. But still no partner. And since he didn’t particularly need more friends from the get go, so he considers this a net gain of zero.
Why is that his only goal?
From what he’s noticed observing his feelings while in public, a relationship is what he envies the most and what would bring him the most happiness in the shortest amount of time (disregarding all notion of permanency and staying power lmao)
Why does that have so much emotional power?
Because if the incel can physically and empirically see someone be happier because he is with them in a way only he can provide, he can finally believe in himself and be at peace with himself. This is a catch-22 of sorts; he needs confidence in order to make himself desirable to people, but the only honest way he can see himself gaining said confidence is already being desirable to people, or at least, having it spelled out in front of him unequivocally (she’s not from Canada and just being polite). That in itself is a tall order, so he’s better off just faking it to make the people around him feel at ease and drastically hoping they don’t see through him.
And of course, there’s the nuclear option of self sabotage that the incel has chosen as the final solution - not speaking to people any longer than absolutely necessary. This nicely brings us back full circle to the opening premise.