Off the Grid

dumbsmart phone

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3 military men working on a portable phone switchboard

When I wasn’t off doing real life stuff, how have I filled my time this past month?

For one, I’ve eased off the monke, innawoods mantra and changed back to my 2017 smartphone as my daily driver. The straw that broke the camel’s back was a strange glitch with the Nokia 225 that cut off predictive text halfway through a word if a text was received during typing. As much as I enjoyed flexing on people’s iPhone 47Smax2+funkymode and its tumor growth of cameras, the threshold for this lifestyle meme was always functionality, and I don’t see anyone coping with such a major oversight.

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off grid return to monke - progress

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two slavic boys playing solitaire in the middle of the night on a crt monitor being held above a hole in the ice

What does a lifestyle of not having home internet and using a feature (read: dumb) phone as a daily driver look like?

Pros:

Annoyances followed by solutions/adaptations:

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off the grid (no internet)

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dwayne johnson’s mother witnesses his son join the internet and becomes an anime trans female

Why did I want to go off the grid?

Deep inside, there was this inclination that suffering through something no one else would dare do would in itself make me better than those around me. When friends and family would give me strange looks, that would only fuel my desire to follow the project through. On a more practical note, I felt that I would be able to unlock my true potential by ridding myself of the biggest distractor in my life.

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10 reasons to stay away from social media

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This person tried to unlock your phone. Picture of cursed creepy Mark Zuckerberg smiling with bug eyes

Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat – the zoomer to boomer playgrounds freshly tilled and kindly bestowed to us by rich businessmen and their acres and acres of sweet server farmland. Increased communication has been and will continue to be the driving force for civilization, yet I’ve chosen to go off the deep end – well, not completely. The thirty day repent period that based Z u c c gives you after deactivating has finally elapsed, so as of today, the only account I hold in a centralized media platform is Reddit, which is serving as a nicotine patch for dank may-mays. Why don’t I have any social media accounts? After some thought, here are some patterns I’ve noticed that even the most avid of you users should relate to.

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