Can the incel love? Does he have the ability to love? He has been chewing on that question as of late.
Where does this notion come from? The incel has a notion that this isn’t a question most people coming of age typically ask themselves, as by that time, they have already committed themselves into lifelong relationships (platonic as well as romantic). Why is he asking in the first place? For starters, an inability to love would fill in nicely as a reason he is so inexperienced with girls, so he can’t help but lean in that direction just to get closer to some answer. But by far, what raises his suspicion the most is looking back at random thoughts and exchanges with people over the years.
- A female coworker he only ever got to kiss seemed taken aback when he said he had never been in love with someone, which probably contributed to rejecting him a month later on the grounds of being, in her own words, “too two-dimensional.”
- Love and obsession are widely known to be two sides of the same coin, but the incel has yet to experience the stress-free bliss of the former. All of the crushes he has had have been periods of self-deprecation, disillusionment, and anxiety. There is nothing noble or stoic in that.
- Most people the incel talks to have had a few relationships under their belt by the time they were his age. Even people who would wouldn’t argue the label “late bloomer” were out shopping by age 16. Statistically speaking, his inaction is unusual.
- The incel has never connected with love songs, which is pretty much most songs with lyrics. He never feels that he could insert himself into the world the writer is trying to build, and feels a lot more at home in the third person, much like real life. “This is what normal people feel. People like me don’t get involved in these kinds of situations. People like me are spectators.” he tells himself.
- People left and right put animals on a golden pedestal and turn into drooling idiots when they run into one in public. That’s always been cringy for the incel. It’s just a dog; get a hold of yourself.
- The incel’s mom asked him one day if he could look for some discounts on an Xbox to give to her nephew. His first thought, instead of perhaps, “Oh sweet, I get to play with my cousin” or, “That’s a great gift idea” was, “Visiting family is such a hassle.”; you see people you hardly encounter in daily life, yet they expect presents from you. What have they ever done to you to warrant such a gesture? Merely exist? Granted, this might just be a different cultural upbringing.
- The incel finds his mom’s emotional dependence on him, or from anyone for that matter, deeply disturbing. He feel suffocated, and the only reply he’s ever gotten is, “Suck it up,” as if she’s entitled to have him dote on her. While he respects the sacrifices she has made over the years to escape her childhood poverty, he tries to keep his distance while taking advantage of the cheap rent. If it wasn’t for the generational wealth, he probably would have left as soon as possible, leaving no trace of where he might be or what he might be doing. He has no interest in keeping correspondence with her beyond investing in her retirement fund every month.
And now the holy grail of reasons - children. The incel can’t conjure an ideal future for himself where he has children. He doesn’t love himself, so how the hell can he expect to feign compassion for something he corrupted with his inferior DNA? He’d feel guilty more than anything. More damned if the kid came out mentally inferior and deranged; he acknowledges that his heart would probably soften the moment he holds them (weakness of reason more than anything), but with this unbiased stupor of childless age, he can see himself pining for a way out and probably harboring resentment at the hand he was dealt. He wouldn’t want to take time away from himself and his dreams (even if they’re not quite concrete yet), and much less so if the little bastard can’t even count to ten. He would resent the opportunity cost. In the off chance he changes his mind and finds no takers, he would look at adoption, but even then, there’s no incentive for smart, beautiful people to have children any other way but organically - with other smart, beautiful people. He would have his work cut out for him searching for a decent donor. But the validity of this transactional, secular train of thought is a whole other can of worms.
As you, intelligent reader, might have been able to deduce at this point, this lack of empathy might be more to do with fear of sharing insecurities rather than lacking emotion. Either way, the effect is the same to the onlooker - alienation ¯_(ツ)_/¯