innawoods plan pt 2 - concerns

stock image of asian family in their living room nonchalantly next to a gigantic rock that takes up half the room

How do I know that moving into the woods is the right move for me? Would I be doing it for the right reasons? Let’s think about it.

As of today, my vision is to stay in my hometown until June of next year. That way, I stay true to my promise to help my friend with his musical endeavors for the remainder of his time in the U.S., and additionally, I carry my efforts to study music to their logical conclusion by obtaining my bachelor’s degree and honing my lifelong craft as musician. After that, I will use the money I have saved up so far, in addition to everything I manage to save between now and then, to:

At this point there are two scenarios: either I like it and focus on more underground classifieds in the area (as well as word of mouth deals; being there gets you halfway through the door) or I begin to consider other places and follow other leads, effectively making my own summer tour of the US and/or Mexico.

If all goes according to plan, I will at that point finally have a place I can call my own - a dream I’ve had since I was eight.

That is the vision in its entirety. But, what could throw a wrench in these plans, and what would my response be?

Land is too expensive!

No biggie; I’ll just return home having taken away priceless land appraising experience and slave away another year or so until I have enough money.

I don’t like any of the spots I check out!

Same as before - cut my losses, return home, and try again during the winter or later after I recoup the tour expenses.

My temporary housing falls apart and I am effectively homeless!

I won’t give up that easily. I will ideally have a sizable emergency fund I can put into both couch surfing, motels, and repairs. Worst case scenario, I can live out of my car and prioritize getting my main shack back up and running again. I’m used to my computer exploding on me at the most unexpected times, so I’m no stranger to rolling with the punches and duct taping together a solution.

Theft or natural disaster strikes, and all my hard work is squandered!

See above. No use getting sad over it. This is a good reminder to ask my neighbors (a mile away, and not too cozy, ideally) if ADT or insurance is worthwhile round their parts.

I don’t make enough money!

Do odd jobs that are out of my comfort zone until I’m back on my feet. As the stable money comes in and hangs around, take riskier (but no less sound) ventures with my business. I’m far too nimble and hardy to not land any sustainable work.

I fall into depression!

Keep or reinstate the habit of quiet, personal prayer, no matter how I’m feeling. Make sure the golden 3 are in order - sleep, food, and exercise. Get more involved in my community and impose myself more in social circles.

I suffer a debilitating injury and can no longer sustain myself!

This is a tough one, especially if it happens early on while single and without enough time for my IRA to mature. Any response also depends on the kind of injury, but in general, I’d hunt down some remote work and make enough to hire a part-time caretaker to come in and tend to physical house chores. I’d consider downscaling or getting rid of my flora and fauna if they end up costing more to maintain than the value they’d produce in my life.

The real kicker is if I sustain brain damage and enter some vegetative state or become mentally retarded. I would lose my mental capital, and depending on my level of self-awareness or lasting dedication to self-reliance and self-sustainability, would probably cut my losses and move back into the city near some family. And then depending on their magnanimity, I’d be under their care or be interred at a psych ward. I have yet to write this in a will/testament to be shared with my closest family in the event of an emergency.

If life were a game, this would be the sad ending, but anything is better than the cardinal sin and cop-out of suicide (game over). This doomsday scenario is the strongest argument for insurance, I’d say.

I can’t find anybody to settle down with!

See above. Am I earnestly and diligently putting myself out there? Consider digital tools in addition to word of mouth (friend of a friend sort of connections). Worst case scenario - become a priest. Also, see next point.

I find a great woman before moving out, but she’s not on board with my master plan!

First off, before pinning labels like “perfect” or “ideal”, ask myself whether or not I’m acting out of selfish desperation or out of genuine admiration for a fellow human being. Now here’s the kicker; if she’s still in the picture after that reality check, don’t stubbornly or autistically stick to one interpretation of my vision, but rather explore other avenues, and make sure both of us are willing to compromise.

Maybe staying near her parents in the city is important to her; that’s fine as long as we still imbue the spirit of self-sustainability and steer clear of the pitfalls of organized society as I’m sure many of my readers already do. Maybe she’s fine with moving out to the middle of nowhere, but she has no interest in embarking on the arduous task of homeschooling; that’s also fine as long as she’s willing to pick up the slack elsewhere (chores, part-time stable income) and divide responsibility for the house equally and according to our strengths. As a rule of thumb, once two or more of these cornerstones fall apart, maybe reconsider my taste in women in the first place, respectfully call off the relationship, and try again.

I’m not too worried about this one, though. As long as I don’t do anything stupid like premarital sex, both me and my partner should be in the right head space to make mutually beneficial choices and not be a slave to our passions like so many weak-willed, failed role models I had growing up.

But I saved the most dangerous bombshell for last. What if the dream dies on its own before then? What if I snap out of my social anxiety provoked stupor long enough to throw everything away and return to floating aimlessly as before? Is this inevitable? Is this all one giant LARP meant to dismiss my own insecurities and iniquities as society’s fault and offer me an imaginary means of escape - an absolution from all personal responsibility to take risks right here, right now?

This is what I fear most - being my own worst enemy.

I think you’re creating imagined realities where you’re persecuted in scenarios you yourself invented src: Cyanide and Happiness