As a thought experiment, would the incel truly have any intention to be monogamous and faithful if he weren’t socially handicapped? And if not, wouldn’t that make his intention for seeking out someone as faithful as him inherently selfish? At first, this is a non-sequitur, but hear him out. Like a peasant suddenly coming across a windfall, would he just squander the loot and hurt himself and others irreversibly in the process? Would he have come to the same realizations about the nature of sex if he had had more ample opportunities growing up, or better yet, had stumbled into a meaningful partnership and been further along in life with children at a young age like many of his friends? Which version of him would be happier? If he believe that actions speak louder than words and that this fictitious version of him is the winner, does that make his current stance a compromise of sorts - a more neurotic (and probably just as misogynistic) take on the incel meme?
When will the incel break free of this prison? He doesn’t ask how; he’s not fooling anyone with playing ignorant. He well knows how, but the question is when he will feel compelled enough to make the first move and put down the armor? Maybe when he has “enough” self confidence, whatever the hell that means? No, that would create an infinite loop - confidence comes from throwing yourself in the fire and making it up as you go along. Logically then, he should do so when he has enough dispensable “self” to lose some in this endeavor; consider it capital for a speculative investment.
What would being good enough look like in this context of having enough dispensable “self” to gamble away? Being out of debt? Having a well sustaining job? Having a home? Of course, that’s making the dehumanizing assumption that money equals intrinsic worth as a partner, which Hollywood has taught him isn’t true (they would never lie to him /s). Middle schoolers are hooking up left and right, and even on the opposite end, overgrown children well into their 30s are finding solace in each other. There’s no excuse for the incel to wait until he is completely self-sufficient, although he can’t help but feel that would certainly sweeten the deal.
The incel puts himself in the shoes of an honest girl approaching her 30s with his same disposition (the femcel, if you will). She wouldn’t certainly do wrong in falling in love with the first man in front of him that isn’t a liability (overgrown teen gamer, drug addict, deadbeat) and that is willing to bring his end of the bargain into bettering their condition. Sure, she doesn’t see herself being anyone’s first choice, but with the essentials down, she can see herself climbing the ranks and convincing his partner to have no regrets about going for the sure thing. Once she put passion out of the picture, everything falls into place. She’s the Toyota Camry that the conscientious shopper has been looking for all along. As long as she boxes in her weight class, she’ll be fine.
Of course, the incel really wishes he could be someone’s first choice, though, but the way he carries himself isn’t very conducive to being that. That doesn’t mean much in retrospect; after all, not even he would go for his first choice, out of healthy skepticism. He thinks about the people that preoccupy his mind, and without fail, every single one is for superficial or delusional reasons. One thing is the kind of person that would be right for him, and another thing entirely is the unobtainable fantasy (merely dating an “aesthetic”). The common trope for the modern woman is cheating on the reliable but boring accountant they eventually settle on for the flaky but captivating rock musician of their dreams.
In short, the incel deems himself as the bearer of “shit taste” and doesn’t trust himself to make good decisions. This is especially infuriating, as it’s very well possible that an enriching and mutually beneficial partner is currently right under his nose but he’s not ready to make the move. Luck is when preparation meets opportunity, so while he’s had more than his fair share of opportunities, he has always had his head up his own ass and been completely unaware or unprepared. He can correctly say, then, that he’s not lucky with women lol.
And here, the incel reaches the same conclusion he reached in the past 40 entries - stop thinking about women. The situation isn’t improving and will not for the foreseeable future, so might as well embrace it. If he makes his situation intentional, he restores his locus of control.