Q: Why does the incel hate himself? A: He is inconsistent. Q: Who is he doing all this for - living and whatnot? A: For those who don’t give themselves permission to live. He, supposedly, is the spokesman for the insecure average Joe.
Just yesterday, the incel realized that the very women the incel is attracted to (anxious people he is secretly hoping to “save”) are the very kinds of people psychologists say he is incompatible with. As he suspected, he can’t trust himself to pick out a good partner. Why the hell would a secure type fall in love with anyone other than another secure type in the first place? Is this that invisible chemistry in the room his therapist tried to convince him exists? He wants to call bull, but he sees it happen to the average Joe every day.
But back to fundamentals, the incel doesn’t have any close female friends, and that’s the first mundane step towards getting a partner. Step one is to see women as human beings and give them a chance to present their case. In actuality, there’s probably a lot of women he could relate to and aid in their life story (meet in the middle so to speak), but he always dismisses them in his head as normies and aliens before he hears a single word.
In the incel’s mind, the only place women have on the internet is mainstream media. He can’t, nor doesn’t, ever imagine a girl behind that Reddit, 4chan, or Stack Overflow comment, even though it very well could be. His mind defaults to reading all text on the internet in a male voice until proven otherwise. To be fair, a lot of the nerdier subcultures he identifies with are sausage fests, but the big takeaway here is to not assume that only men can be cool people to talk to. Statistically, nerdy women are out there. Bless their hearts; they need all the help they can get in warding off the bottom of the barrel in society.
Back to the real world. The incel has noticed that his main objective when dealing with women has become, “Don’t be creepy.” He has this innate belief that he is undesirable and that he needs to wait for someone (either the woman in question or a male friend of theirs) to give him permission to prove otherwise, or at least pretend that he’s not a creep for the sake of getting along. He’s operated this way for as long as he remembers. In general, the incel is very shameful of his sexuality. What most people look back at fondly - adolescence, first crushes - he look back at with cringe and terror. That’s probably why he likes the romance genre; the generic protagonist is usually a self insert and a perfect “what if” through which he can live vicariously.
Sometimes, he even wants to go nuclear; there have been more days than not that he wishes he was asexual. After all, all of the most content periods in his life have been in spite of women, not because of them. There is a strong connection between women and suffering in his brain. Maybe it’s because his initial and prolonged exposure to the women he had no choice but to live with was unbearable; who knows? What he does know is that he can’t let that be an excuse to not improve himself.
But enough about him; how about some empathy for the women themselves? Don’t they already have enough shit to deal with without having another creep added to the mix? If the incel shows any intent to express his sexuality, they would definitely catch on with that sixth sense of theirs and retreat, so better not to stir the pot and mind his own business - the same stalemate as always.
If they want something, they’ll ask for it, right? The only thing is, he’s been waiting his whole life, and he’s still waiting.