When it comes to media and pop culture, the incel finds himself attracted most to codependent partners that rely on their victims’ inferiority to bolster themselves up and that serve as an outer voice for their interior dialogue (“You are scum” and the like), which worries him considerably. He reacts very positively to this archetype because that chain of events is the only way he can consistently imagine himself stumbling into a relationship. From the start, he doesn’t relate much to healthy relationships - however, get suicide and depression involved and now you’re talking. He has to be wary of this tendency because while the storylines in TV and anime always end up nicely resolved, there is a high likelihood he’ll end up hurt and even more desolate than when he started if he chooses to entertain the notion in real life.
You know what; screw it. He doesn’t know what’s good for him, and any insight he pretends to gain from masticating these thoughts throughout the day is most definitely wrong. He cannot trust himself, so wanting to change becomes a matter of walking on eggshells and constantly asking those around him if he’s messed up yet, and even then, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever have the motivation to start that or keep up this social shadowing for any meaningful period of time.
But back to the main topic. The incel always feels giddy like a schoolgirl when he sees the protagonist of a work fight his feelings for the main heroine who from the start is destined to end up with the protagonist. Yes, a big part of that is wish fulfillment, but there is also a hint of masochist futility behind dissociating oneself from such hard-wired emotions. His brain has the faculties to take a step back from God’s creation after millions and millions of years of evolution and laugh at the little quirks of His quaint little programming. Most instincts do a great job of keeping us in homeostasis (hunger, thirst, pain, loneliness), but lust in the modern, nihilist sense is a luxury meant to bide time against our inevitable demise, and a good diversion at that. In layman’s terms, nobody has ever died of horniness.
But empty feelings won’t get him anywhere. The root of the issue - if not explicitly stated before, is being done so now - has always been a lack of meaningful relationships that stems from low self-confidence and self-worth. Any effort he makes to address other delusions is wasted time, and that includes a lack of “getting laid” or whatever the peanut gallery calls it.
If the incel is to come clean, his social life is a constant cycle of:
- a member of the opposite sex being a decent human being towards him
- him developing feelings for said person
- him spending the entirety of his time near that person actively thinking about not thinking about that person and avoiding their presence lest his feelings get stronger
- having his feelings get stronger
- doing nothing
- reaching the end of his correspondence with said person
- lamenting that he didn’t do anything
- reminding himself that he’s a delusional nutcase that would have had nothing to give to said person anyway and that he just saved himself the embarrassment of even trying
- retracting his previous statement because that’s what his therapist told him to do and not because he genuinely feels that it’s wrong
- still lamenting his dry spell
- moving to a new area with new people
- rinsing and repeating
and he hates himself because of it. The incel hates himself because he won’t give himself a chance. He doesn’t give himself a chance because he hates himself and the people around him can do better than give someone who hates himself the time of day. Quite the feedback loop.