incel 17 - you go first

Hello! I see we’re from the same city haha. you look like a nice person. would you like to be my friend? my friends call me Skyla. you can call my Skyla if you want, if you accept me of course. we can play Farmville! or if you want maybe we can go to the beach together someday and build sandcastles or talk about our day! hope I hear from you, cheers! friend request sent. Nice to meet you Skyla. I would love to be friends with you. thanks for the message. It means a lot coming from you. have a nice day

The passive approach the incel has taken to every kind of relationships (he hasn’t even sent a Facebook request before out of fear of appearing needy) is the very thing depriving him of opportunities. Now that he thinks about it, if his best friend hadn’t texted him randomly that one day in the middle of the pandemic, he probably would have never gotten into the habit of hanging out with someone one-on-one with no particular goal in sight; the idea of casually “hitting someone up” like that would have never occurred to him.

Statistically speaking, the incel has probably run into at least three or four girls that would greatly benefit from having him in their life, if not for the fact that neither he or she take that leap of faith, perhaps out of the belief that the other person will pick up the slack. Assuming that is true, achieving a meaningful relationship is just a matter of really good discernment (or repeated indiscriminate shooting, of course, but that was never an option from Day 1).

The incel has gotten a little better at inviting friends to hang out, but he’s still a ways away from imposing himself on another human being in a romantic way. The pathology in his mind is that he can never be 100% certain that someone is into him, so there’s always the chance he inconveniences someone else with feelings they didn’t expect or want to deal with. That, in turn, can taint his image and automatically ruin his prospects with everyone in that specific social setting, playing out like a demented game of Minesweeper. Therefore, he has one shot per location (work, school) to get things right, and he is never quite satisfied with the crush of the week enough to risk this loss, so he just ignores his feelings until they subside, which they do soon enough and without fail unsurprisingly.

His feelings aren’t worth jack, apparently, or in nicer terms, his heart is too sensitive and keeps coming up with false positives. Then again, he will never be satisfied with potentially missing out on great connections, so he is miserable either way.