FC2 Live is Japanese Twitch stuck in 2005, although judging by the age spread, some people have probably been doing it since 2005 - a demented social experiment that never ended. Anyway, assuming you’re not just pirating TV or coercing NEETs into 20 hour shifts on Uber Eats, first choose you’re[sic] fighter: female or male.
If female, you are an alcoholic, period - and not just a light buzz either. If you aren’t having violent fits of burping or hiccups, crack open some yuzushu and get to work. If you are, great; don’t back away from the mic and definitely don’t apologize for making everyone’s ears bleed. After all, how else would you have the patience and willpower to waste your life away online for all to see at 3 A.M. on a Tuesday?
You also can’t go wrong putting on the shortest pajama shorts you own. That’s so you can show off your legs when you get up to use the bathroom and keep the peanut gallery engaged. This is in lieu of any remotely engaging or coherent content. In fact, the more autistically you scream and leave ideas unfinished, the better. Take everything that ol’ Nippon has taught you about being a host and do the exact opposite - brownie points for exaggerating your dialect.
As for how to kill time, just pretend the camera isn’t there. Put on make up, change hair accessories, clean your filthy hikikomori room proudly on display for some reason (“How do you live like this?” - German comment), diddle around on your phone, etc. If you insist on performing, karaoke is a crowd pleaser, especially paired with sleepy, drunken movements that the coomers will call “sensual” somehow. Don’t worry about audio quality either; just play the music from your phone and never use the mic so no one can hear how out of tune you are. EQ, DRC, OBS: what’s that?
On the topic of softcore undertones, If you’re a little older, like a 43 year old mom with 3 kids, you have earned the privilege of putting “no ero” in the subheading and having it respected, but in exchange, you actually have to act like a human being towards the chat. Simple enough, but due to a heavy bias towards neurodivergence, you’ll get a lot of socially inept and esoteric comments like, “What’s your favorite water bottle shape? Mine is Fiji.” but you can tell they mean well and will leave you alone to memorize their Shinkansen timetables soon enough. If you’re young, however, Lord have mercy. Yeah, FC2 has a word filter, but that doesn’t stop anyone from getting creative with kanji readings and demanding you show your “ten thousand articles,” Sora the Troll style. See, that’s where your autism comes in - as a defense mechanism!
So that was the first path. The second path is for the men. The only requirement is being over 40 in order to fill the void that the viewers’ own father neglected. After that, no alcohol needed. Just talk about the news, your day, or your wisdom of many years over the dull chatter of a TV in the background. If you’re feeling frisky, take advantage of your male privilege (no stalkers, rapists) by streaming yourself out in the real world, maybe even on the job. Film yourself cooking rice. Make your 11 hour overnight truck haul less soul crushing by speaking into an abandoned parking lot with the sunrise in frame.
Do all this and you too could garner dozens of views and give your inactive and irrelevant social media the boost it doesn’t need!
For full transparency, I wrote this as a light jab at a few streamers I happened to tune into one day, so if you are an actual Japanese person with experience to the contrary, メールでご連絡したら、投稿を改めます。申し訳ないで〜す。